Pursued by a Lusty Programmer (aka Dating)

I mentioned in my first post, What is a Programmer, that dating a programmer is very different from cohabitating with a keyboard-caressing code maestro. Programmers typically possess terabytes of focus. And let me tell you, having that all-consuming mind directed at you is wonderful, ego-inflating, and possibly love-inducing. He/she pursues you, hangs on to your every word, sends gifts (and ten emails per day), and devotes days, nights, and weekends to spending time with you. Sure, they may be a little unfashionable (the first time I met my future husband he was wearing too-short, faded navy dockers his mom had bought him in middle school-the boy had been out of middle school for a good ten years), those gifts are sometimes a little strange (T-shirts touting computer companies and products), but they remember the things you like, research them, and then take you to a new French restaurant (your favorite kind of cuisine) and get those coveted Broadway tickets.

Programmers LISTEN - when they’re dating you.

However, on the most basic level of the programmer’s mind, you are a problem to be solved. They want you. They NEED you. Therefore they are going to allocate all their resources to getting you. Once they’ve acquired you (project objectives: complete), they’re moving on to the next problem.

They still love you. They still lust after you. The relationship has just shifted into the maintenance phase. The programmer only checks back when a bug is filed (i.e. you’re having a hissy fit about the dirty socks hanging off the stairway railing).

Don’t worry. If you decide to let your programmer catch you, I have tons of tips I’ll share later on how to live (and stay sane) with your programmer.