A Plan for Valentine’s Day Sans Chocolate and Roses

For the programmer and I, it’s all about the little things.

We notice the small changes in each other.  The programmer always notices when I get my hair highlighted and paint my toenails.  I immediately hone in on the fact JBoss In Action and Practical RichFaces have been added to the bookshelf in his office.

We also fight about the small things.  Like why does he always have to sniff the dishtowels to see if they’re clean?  Who ate the last piece of chocolate? (guilty as charged).

We don’t stress about the big things.  A house?  Picked that out in a day.  Same with the car and where we got married.  All we really care about is being together even when he’s irrationally suspicious of the laundry detergent, and I ate the last of his chocolate.  Therefore, while I adore Valentine’s Day, I don’t expect some Hollywood production of  romanticism from the programmer.  I’d actually be a little hurt because it would show he wasn’t really thinking about me.  I’m not a girl who wants a dozen roses, a cardboard heart full of bon-bons, and dinner by candlelight on February 14^th.   I’d prefer going on a hike, fresh strawberry shortcake, and a soak in the Jacuzzi with the programmer.  The programmer will want carrot cake, a day on the slopes or at the driving range, and yes, then the Jacuzzi.

Now you think, one of us will be unhappy on the 14^th because we can’t do all this in one day.  Well, we don’t have to because spending quality romantic time together shouldn’t be limited to a holiday and the gifts you share certainly shouldn’t be dictated by what retailers tell you men and women want for Valentine’s Day.  (actually, one of our fave gifts to exchange is promising each other weekends:  i.e. Anya will play golf next weekend with the programmer (despite it being bloody freezing).  The programmer will go hiking when the Trillium bloom.)

So what does your lover really want?

A box of chocolates or gourmet popcorn and a movie?

Dinner at that expensive restaurant or a simple picnic at a park?

Roses or a visit to the local botanical gardens in the spring?

A gift certificate to the spa or a massage from you?

I think showing you love someone  is all about the little things.  The things that show you have listened, that you know their  interests and what will make them truly smile on Valentine’s Day and every other day this year.  As for my programmer, I’ve been emailing him these custom hearts I gimped to show him I love what he does even if I don’t understand everything he talks about (actually I find it kind of sexy, LOL).

So what do you want this Valentine’s day?  Why don’t you slip a little note to your lover and let them know, because, let’s face it, most of us can’t read minds and with our hectic lifestyles sometimes we don’t pick up on the little things all the time.    Trust me, asking in itself will make them happy because it shows you’re thinking about them and considering their wants and needs.

And does anyone really think edible underwear is sexy?